Just for kicks sometime, read through the New Testament and every time Jesus says “I am” read “God.”

After all, that is God’s name, YHWH, I am who I am, I am (Exodus 3:14).

God the bread of life; God the light of the world; God the alpha and the omega; before Abraham, God.

And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

We are not alone. We never have been. Not as a people, not as a race, not as a generation, not as an individual. Recognize it or not, admit it or not, God is.

I have been physically alone more these past three years than I have ever been. A little quiet alone time was always something I treasured when people crowded my life. But after Nick’s death, and with Covid, that quiet aloneness was sometimes overwhelming. But I was never really alone. God was with me. God is with me.

It seems a little haughty somehow to claim that God is with me, but that is exactly what He promised; not just that He is with me, but that He is with us. Not because we are worthy of His presence, but because He desires to be with us.

Sometimes, when I am frustrated that people can choose not to believe in God, I wish He would do some mighty act that would prove His existence. But He has. He had done many mighty acts, and people still deny Him. We may wonder how the crowd from Exodus could deny God while still receiving manna, but are we much better? Did raising Lazarus from the dead bring religious leaders to their senses? Did Jesus’ resurrection? Perhaps it is not the mighty acts that prove God’s existence, but the smallest incidents of individuals feeling His presence.

The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in a field. It is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown, it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches, Matthew 13:31-32

So that smallest of things, you and me knowing that He is, could be just the thing that brings in His kingdom. Yahweh. Just saying it aloud causes us to breathe in and out, causes us to breathe, which gives us life. It seems a little thing, but it is not. Because He is with us. And His presence in a place makes that place a temple. Like Marine One, which is not a specific helicopter, but whatever helicopter the president is on, so the temple is not a specific place, but the place where God is. And if God is with us, then we are His temple.

Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy that person. For God’s temple is holy, and you are that temple. I Corinthians 3:16-17

I feel woefully inadequate to the task, the littlest of seeds. But of course, it is not the beauty of the building that makes a place a temple; it is God. So my “job,” if you will, is to acknowledge God’s presence. God is, and God is with us, YHWH, Emmanuel.

The glory that you have given me, I have given them, so that they may be one as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become completely one, so that the world may know that you have sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me. John 17:22-23

I am, with you. God is, with us.

Betsy

I woke up to the sound of wind this morning. A low humming that rose and fell in pitch and volume. I’m sure there’s some scientific reason for how wind creates sound, but does that make it less amazing? I can’t see it; the only evidence it exists is the tree’s reaction to it. And that sound. Tornado and hurricane survivors speak of the sound of a freight train – powerful sounds, powerful forces, the wind. If I were blind (and indoors), could I identify that sound as wind?

From inside my home, I watch the barren tree limbs move as if by free will. They are dancing round about, back and forth, with no apparent purpose; and then they rest, as if tired from their exploits. The leaves on the magnolia tree shake and shiver. Then the sound picks up, and the dancing begins again.

Wind, breath, spirit. The Greeks and Romans envisioned wind as a god blowing air across the land. Simplistic to our 21st century brains, and yet. Isn’t there something beyond our grasp in the wind? Isn’t there something majestic and powerful and beyond our control?

And suddenly from heaven came a sound like the rush of violent wind, and it filled the entire house where they were sitting. Acts 2:2

Wind can be a gentle breeze on a warm day, cooling and refreshing us. Wind can uproot trees and blow away buildings. The wind ushers in changes in weather and stills the sails in calm seas. Always changing, ever present, unpredictable, uncontrollable. Somewhat like God. We know it’s there. We can feel it; we can hear it; we can see the results of its presence. But the wind does not operate at our beck and call, nor is it restricted by our expectations.

The wind blows where it chooses, and you hear the sound of it, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit. John 3:8

We do know, 2000 years later, that wind is created when air particles move from high pressure areas to low pressure areas; and we know the variation in the way the sun heats the earth causes the different air pressures. Somehow this knowledge does not take the mystery and beauty and wonder out of the wind. Nor does this knowledge enable us to control the wind.

Wind is amazing to watch. How many of us have stood at the window watching as the newscasters urged us to get to our “safe place”? I know I have.

Is it any wonder the wind reminds me of God? Mighty and marvelous, gentle and refreshing. Able to lift a kite into the sky or a ship across the sea. Able to change the landscape in a day.

Thus says the Lord: I am going to break down what I have built, and pluck up what I have planted – that is, the whole land. Jeremiah 45:4

I believe in wind. I have felt it. I have heard it. I have seen the tree branches and leaves move, even if I can’t see the actual wind. I know it can revive me on a hot day. I know it can harm me. A source of comfort, a source of change, a source of power. A lot like God.

I believe in God. I have felt His presence. I have heard Him whisper in my ear. I have seen obstacles and situations move and change, even if I can’t see God. He revives me when I am burdened. He holds my fate in His hands. A source of comfort, a source of change, a source or power.

In the beginning, when God created the heavens and the earth, the earth was a formless void and darkness covered the face of the deep, while a wind from God swept over the face of the waters. Genesis 1:1-2

I woke to the sound of wind this morning…

Betsy

I like to plan. It gives me a false sense that I have some level of control over what’s happening in my life. I tell myself that I plan to make sure everyone else has an enjoyable time, but I fear I am trying to avoid their criticism.

I am not alone in this love of planning. There are entire industries devoted to helping us plan. It’s hard to imagine what life was like before there were calendars. The Covid shutdown may have wiped them clean for a while, but I was eager to get back to planning things.

What I have learned, over time and through much frustration, is that I must make plans in pencil, preferably a pencil with a large eraser. This was certainly true while Nick was suffering through surgeries, chemo, and failing health. It has also been true this past fall. Awaiting the birth of twins, their arrival on Thanksgiving week, extended family coming and going with their own plans, surgeries and biopsies thrown in the mix, why bother owning a pen?

Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such-and-such a town and spend a year there, doing business and making money.” Yet you do not even know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. James 4:13-14

And now it’s the new year. 2023 – shouldn’t we have flying cars? Did you make a new year’s resolution? I will admit I stopped making them a long time ago. I eased into it by dubbing the upcoming year “the year of the house,” or “the year for travel.” But I found that I rarely knew in January what the upcoming year would hold. Last January, I didn’t know what a blog was. Last January, my daughter was not pregnant and lived in Fort Worth.

So I will make my plans in pencil. I hope to have a garden. I have been scheming on ways to enrich the soil, hinder weeds among the sugar snaps, frustrate the robber squirrels and chipmunks. I plan to continue this blog. Maybe I’ll have a better garden; hopefully I’m a better writer. God willing, I will have some new things to share. I’d like to spend some time at the beach, and much time at the lake. I plan to spend a lot of time with my grandchildren, and my children and my family and my friends. God willing.

Instead, you ought to say, “If the Lord wishes, we will live and do this or that.” James 4:15

Because who besides God knows what the new year will bring? For the world, for our country, for my family, for me. As civil rights activist Ralph Abernathy famously said, ” I do not know what the future holds, but I know who holds the future.”

That’s why I do not stress about not being able to plan in pen. It’s a little scary to be open to wherever the Lord may send my way. I make my plans, but I prepare myself for God changing them. I try to leave words like “never” and “always” out of my vocabulary. I keep telling myself that any relationship is more important than any plan I make. A hard lesson for those of us who like to plan. I remind myself that my plans need to be subject to His plans.

His plans are better than mine; better for the world, better for His kingdom, better for me.

And He is with us. No matter what happens. To the end of the age.

Now to Him who by the power at work within us is able to accomplish abundantly far more than all we can ask or imagine, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus to all generations, forever and ever. Amen. Ephesians 3:20-21

Happy New Year!

Betsy

I have heard a lot of talk recently that our world is in crisis, and that “the end is nigh.” I have a sense that this is a lot of fear-mongering and marketing for a cause. But what if they are right?

On the one hand, haven’t people always felt that way? Isn’t this just God’s way of reminding us that our world could end today via a massive stroke or car accident? Shouldn’t we always be ready to face Jesus?

Today, if you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts. Hebrews 4:7

On the other hand, what if it is true? What if God is warning us that these are the end times? What if He is just warning our country that it is in its end times? How do I respond to that? 

Does disaster befall, unless the Lord has done it? Surely the Lord God does nothing without revealing his secrets to his servants, the prophets. The lion has roared; who will not fear? The Lord God has spoken; who can but prophesy? Amos 3:6-8

A few years back, billboards appeared around my town that proclaimed that Jesus was returning on thus and such a date. I must admit that I scoffed. After all, we all know that only the Father knows the times He has set (Acts 1:7). So I rolled my eyes and called him a fool. Guilty; see Matthew 5:22. What if God had given him that specific word and directed him (or her) to proclaim it? Maybe, like Jonah, they were pronouncing a judgement that wouldn’t happen. Maybe whomever God intended this message to reach repented. Who am I to scoff?

So what if the doomsday predictions are correct? What if our society collapses? What if there is a civil war? What if God unleashes the angels of war, disease, famine and death upon the earth? What if our lives become really, really hard? What, as a Christian, is my response?

The end of all things is near, therefore be serious and discipline yourselves for the sake of your prayers. Above all, maintain constant love for one another, for love covers a multitude of sins. Be hospitable to one another without complaining. I Peter 4:7-9

Hospitality does not seem to be the plan of most “preppers,” unless they plan to share all that they are now hoarding. I grapple with what I would do if evildoers came to take what I have saved for myself and my family. Certainly we are called to care for our families. Certainly we are called to keep enough oil in our lamps (Matt. 25) and prepare for famine (Gen. 41). But Jesus also tells us not to store up earthly treasures, which thieves can steal. Jesus calls us to store up heavenly treasures instead. (Matt. 8:19-21)

Maybe the answer is to not put our faith in what we have stored. Perhaps I should not have faith that my government, the CDC, big agriculture, the marketplace, my IRA, or private gun ownership will be able to stem the tide of disaster if God has ordained it. Perhaps such a disaster instead gives us, as Christians, the opportunity to witness to a better Way. A way of love; a way of putting other’s need above our own (Phil. 2:3-4), a way of laying down our lives for our friends (John 15:13).

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If any want to be my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their crosses and follow me. For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 16:23-25

So yes, repent. The end may be nigh, and the kingdom of God is at hand. Today is the day to draw near to Jesus. Come what may, Jesus has shown us the way.

Lo, I am with you until the end of the age. Matthew 28:20

Happy New Year!

Betsy

We hear a lot during Advent, and throughout Lent and Eastertide, about God’s unconditional love for us. That God would humble Himself to take human form, live as a child, face temptation, allow himself to be beaten and crucified, all because of His love for us.

Simeon took (the baby Jesus) in his arms and praised God saying, “Master, now you are dismissing your servant in peace, according to your word, for my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the presences of your peoples, a light for revelation to the gentiles and for glory to your people Israel.” Luke 2:28-32

As a new grandmother at Christmas time, the thought of God allowing himself to be so fragile, so helpless, so non-verbal, all poop and spit and cries, seems like an incredible gift. I love babies; most people do. They evoke love and care and gentleness in us. What an amazing thing: He put Himself in such a frustrating position to show His unconditional love for us; His desire to have a relationship with us.

As much as He loves us, He asks us to love Him, and other people, in return. He loves us, but do we love Him? In a recent interview, Scott Hamilton wondered aloud if our love for God was unconditional. Do we love God because, or do we simply love God?

When I was a child, I left my mother a note telling her, “I love you very, very, very, very, very, very much.” Angered by something soon after I left it for her, I added, “sometimes.”

I fear I haven’t really matured that much since those days! Faced with horrible circumstances, grief and pain and suffering, I sometimes find it difficult to love God “very, very, very much.”

I have taken comfort in the belief that God knows what He is doing; that He knows better than I what is the best for me, for His kingdom, for the world; that I will understand better when I’m on the other side, looking back. But sometimes, that feels inadequate and denies the pain.

I have posited that I follow God, not because He is “good” (an extremely vague word), but because He is God. To not follow Him would be foolishness. But that is not necessarily love and rarely generates joy.

Richard Wurmbrand, martyr and founder of Voice of the Martyrs, speaks beautifully about loving God while being beaten for that love. I have not yet been called to such a sacrifice. My situation seems easy in comparison, but the question remains. Can I love God and hate the circumstances in which He has placed me? Would I love God even if He consigned me to Hell? Could I love God and extend His love to the world if I were as helpless and dependent as a newborn? As battered and bleeding and abused as Jesus crucified? Is my love for God unconditional?

See what love the Father has given us, that we should be called children of God; and that is what we are. I John 3:1

Children, just like He was. A baby, an infant, helpless and dependent. With our own personalities, our own peculiarities. And a baby loves his or her parents. Needs them, depends on them, gazes intently into their eyes, learning and growing in the parents’ likeness, learning their ways.

Jesus was willing to lay down His glory to become a helpless infant. Can I lay down a little of my comfort to be dependent on God? To gaze into His eyes and learn His ways, to allow Him to be “a light of revelation,” to grow in His likeness? Can I learn to love Him as unconditionally as He loves me? I pray He lets that kind of love grow in me.

Merry Christmas, brothers and sisters in Christ. May God’s love be born in you, and through you into the world.

Betsy

Several years ago, in a contemplative prayer group, an older gentleman asked, “What percentage of Christians do you think have a personal relationship with Jesus?” He guessed about 40%. He said that he had grown up in the Church, attended regularly, taught Sunday School and had been a deacon and elder for years. He had always led a good Christian life. Only recently had something happened that led him to having a relationship, a personal connection, to Jesus. That relationship. he said, made all the difference in the world and seemed far more “valuable” to him than his years of Christian living.

As someone who came to faith during the charismatic “Jesus movement” of the 1970s, I listened in amazement. When he originally asked, I answered in my head, “100%, that’s what being a Christian means – having a personal relationship with Jesus.” 

That relationship, a relationship with Jesus, with God, absolutely makes all the difference. And “valuable?” The joy, the aliveness, that fills me when I attest to God’s presences here on earth in the person of Jesus, to His willingness to show us a path through this life, His gift of showing us a life after this one, His power over all these earthly limitations, that connection is beyond valuable; it is priceless.

Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it. Matthew 113:45-46

God blessed me with a personal relationship with Jesus long before I lived anything resembling a Christian life. Despite being raised in the church and having a “born again” experience, I struggled with demons in my twenties and often lost. It was through the Spirit’s urging that I started going to church again and found Christian friends. God gave me the strength to oust the demons. As the joy of living in relationship with Jesus grew, I “sold” more and more of my old life for the “great value” of life with Christ.

So I asked myself, “Do you have to have a personal relationship with Jesus to be a Christian?” I had always thought so, but my older friend apparently considered such a relationship a bonus not a requirement. I will duck this question. Because, fortunately, it is not up to me to say. I am not the judge; God is. But if you have yet to find this pearl, please keep looking. His Spirit within brings life.

And this is eternal life, that they may know you, the only true God, and Jesus Christ whom you have sent. John 17:3

And not just eternal life, life in the world to come, but abundant life in the here and now. Joy, understanding, peace, forbearance, hope, love, connection. Jesus, through the Holy Spirit, is an empathetic therapist, a wise advisor, a gentle teacher, a source of encouragement, strength, and love for others. And I have this personal relationship with Jesus through His Spirit that lives within me.

By this we know that we abide in him and he in us, because he has given us of his spirit. And we have seen and do testify that the Father has sent the Son as the Savior of the world. God abides in those who confess that Jesus is the Son of God, and they abide in God. So we have known and believe the love God has for us. I John 4:13-16

Jesus wants to have a personal relationship with you. He knows your name; He wants to call you friend. He is the Lord of Heaven’s army; don’t you want to be His friend as well?

I have called you friends, because I have made known to you everything that I have heard from the father. You did not choose me, but I chose you. John 15:15-16

Betsy

Busyness. Somewhere along the line, we made that a virtue. If you want to silence a conversation, when they ask you what you do, say “nothing.” Even writing it, I feel I need to follow that with disclaimers, reasons, justifications for what must be idleness, sloth, the devil’s workshop. I don’t know if it would help the conversation if I answered, “I read and pray and think.” That’s how I spend some of my best days.

Most of my life, I have been very busy. Work, volunteer positions, growing children, aging parent, ailing husband, possessions and schedules, friends and social gatherings, grandchildren. We fill every space on our calendars.

And now it’s Christmas! Do we have one day on our calendar that we intentionally leave blank? Can we block off two hours for prayer and communion with God? Sabbath may have once been that way, but by Jesus’ time, it was more rule riddled than other days. Sunday worship may have once been that way, but it can also be a time of stress and demands, tightly scheduled in between other activities.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I get the sense that busyness is an idol, a false god. Somehow I will feel as if my life has meaning as long as I am too busy to stop to think about it. When I do stop to think about it, I share Solomon’s frustrations that all this activity feels like “chasing after wind” (Eccl.) and a waste of time. It’s easy to forget what Solomon’s father taught us:

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalm 127:1

Rick Warren, in his book, the Purpose Driven Life, says this does not mean asking for God’s blessing on what we have already decided to do. This means asking God what He wants us to do, then doing that. What would our calendars look like if we prayed for guidance before adding anything to it?

He (The Risen Jesus) ordered them to not leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the Father. Then they returned to Jerusalem and… were constantly devoting themselves to prayer. Acts 1:4,12,14

Perhaps this is the key, the balance between pointless activity and idle hands. Perhaps I need to start my day with prayer and waiting for the Spirit’s guidance and power. A friend of mine prays every morning that God will order her day. Martin Luther famously said that he had so much to do that he’d have to spend the first three hours in prayer. Perhaps if I spent that much time in prayer, God could accomplish such amazing feats through me!

Like the barren ground in my garden right now, perhaps a lack of visible activity allows for vital unseen activity to occur. Rest, time in prayer, time reading and thinking about God’s Word, internal transformation. Perhaps that and not ceaseless busyness is the way we can better serve the kingdom. It could even be that the greatest work is that which looks like doing nothing.

In the morning, while it was still very dark, Jesus got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go to the neighboring towns so that I can proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came to do. Mark 1:35-38

Jesus had just spent time at Simon’s home healing people, and many people had gathered there waiting for him to act. Where was he? Why was he not at the house, busy with the tasks at hand?

Jesus knew that time spent in prayer may look like doing nothing, but it is the most important thing we can do. And God may well direct you to leave some tasks undone and focus on new ones, ones that He wants you to do.

So take a deep breath and carve out some time to sit quietly in prayer. Spending time with God is never idle time.

Betsy

The Bible. No book has ever generated so much adoration, turmoil, study and discussion. Heralded as the foundation of our culture; banned as subversive rhetoric. People have died for the privilege of reading the Bible in their own language; people still die for attempting to read the Bible in their own language. The first book ever printed. The most widely read book in the world.

Nations have fought, churches have splintered, laws have been made and revoked, and people imprisoned or exiled based on what this book says. Or more accurately, the different ways people have perceived what this book says and who gets to make that decision.

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household. Matthew 10:34-36.

Just the word “Bible” generates adoration in some and abhorrence in others.

If you read and study it, you know it can be confusing, contradictory, unclear and open to multiple interpretations. The same verse can vary in meaning in each translation.

A person can find justification for almost any behavior in the Bible if they choose to approach it looking for self-justification. Perhaps God did not intend for us to approach it that way. Perhaps anytime I approach the Bible with a personal agenda, even a worthy one, I risk misusing the Word of God.

When I was in my late 20’s, my mother was struggling with ALS, a debilitating and deadly disease. I highlighted every mention of God’s healing hand in my Bible. I underlined every time people prayed for and received healing. When my mother died, I was sure it was because my prayers and my faith were not sincere enough or strong enough or “enough,” because the Bible clearly states that God can heal all diseases. I must have been the problem. Satan made sure I heard that message.

It can be risky approaching the Word of God with a personal agenda. But when we open our hearts and minds to what the Holy Spirit will teach us about God and ourselves through scripture, what a difference!

Because the Bible is a reliable witness to God. The Bible is the written word, which when joined with the Living Word, Jesus, is the best way to learn about our creator, our savior, our Lord.

All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Too often, we in the west take our Bibles for granted, allowing them to gather dust on our bookcases. What a gift they are! What an amazing feat that pre-literate peoples carried these stories verbally for centuries. God spoke to these people thousands of years ago, and His message to them still resonates with us, teaching us about God. God’s love letters to us.

Can you imagine not having access to the Bible? Many people still don’t. If someone confiscated all the Bibles and outlawed their use, would I know enough of it to continue telling the story? I am not very good at memorizing scripture, especially since I read several translations. Is there enough there for the Holy Spirit to use?

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. John 14:25

I thank God for the Bible, in all its confusing and contradictory grandeur. I thank God for the privilege of reading it and studying it; for the privilege of talking about it and writing about it. Open my eyes and ears, my heart and mind, Lord, to learn more about You.

Betsy

Have you ever tried to describe the grandeur of a harvest moon or the beauty of a sunrise? The smell of cinnamon or the various hues of blue? Can you find the words to describe love? Language is a woefully inadequate tool for expressing even those things bound by our five senses and three dimensions. Add to that our emotions and intuitions and our internal sense of something, and language quickly fails us.

How much more difficult it must have been for Jesus to describe those things beyond our experience – Heaven, the Kingdom of God, Eternity. Only He had direct experience of those realms, but what words could He possibly have used to describe them?

Fortunately, God, in His wisdom, gave us tastes, examples, in His created world that hinted at this other world; perishable things that reflected the imperishable. We find many of these hints in our gardens; and the prophets and Jesus called them to our attention.

A man planted a vineyard… Mark 12:1

The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early to hire laborers for his vineyard. Matthew 20:1

The garden even provides hints at some difficult concepts.

The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed… It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown, it is the greatest of shrubs. Matthew 13:31-32

Very truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John12:24

Even with these concrete examples, I can barely visualize this heaven, this kingdom.

The prophets and seers of visions throughout time faced this problem – how to describe a world beyond our five senses, beyond our three dimensions?

Isaiah envisions this Kingdom of God and expresses it like this:

On the day: A pleasant vineyard, sing about it! I, the Lord, am its keeper, every moment I water it. I guard it night and day so that no one can harm it. Isaiah 27:2-3

John envisions heaven and expresses it like this:

On either side of the river of Life is the tree of Life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month, and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. John 22:2

Inadequate language. Vineyards and trees and seeds just a hint, just a glimpse of things beyond our comprehension.

Perhaps all of nature, and not just the garden, is a parable of sorts – a parable that can reveal the nature of God to us if we only open our eyes and ears and hearts. If only we allow the Holy Spirit, God within us, to open them for us.

Then the disciples came and asked Him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” Jesus answered, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given… blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Matthew 13:10,16

How can I describe a sunrise? What words can I use to tell of my heart expanding in love? Language is inadequate to describe what I know in the wordless center of my soul. But I know them to be what they are; I know they are real. The Holy Spirit knows the kingdom of God, knows heaven, knows eternity. If the Holy Spirit abides in you, then somewhere in the wordless center of your soul, you are being shown what these things are; you are being shown that they are real.

I have many things to say to you, but you cannot hear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:12-13

Thank you for reading along as I continue my struggles with language. Your support means more than I could ever express.

Betsy

I have kept a journal of morning prayers for years. Pages and pages of scrawled out personal prayers to the Almighty about whatever was on my mind. They are not for public consumption and would probably be undecipherable to most people.

From the beginning, I addressed God with a capital letter, “You.” Lord, You know what is on my mind. Thank You for listening. It seemed appropriate, even in my personal journal, to capitalize “You.” His Royal Majesty. God.

Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the Lord, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who by myself spread out the earth. Isaiah 44:24

Somewhere along the way, I stopped capitalizing “i.” Maybe it was after seeing one of those window stickers “HE>i” (He is greater than i.) It seemed prideful somehow to give myself the same honor as i was giving God. Quickly, i became accustomed to the lower case i. The practice was easy in my journal. My computer is a different story. My writing software does not accept my sudden humility!

The English language capitalizes “i” whenever used as a pronoun. English is the only language that capitalizes “i” in the middle of a sentence. This would not seem so egotistical if we capitalized other pronouns, like “they” or “he” or “she.” But we don’t. Only I get that honor. Even “we” doesn’t get that honor, as if adding another person lessens my value somehow. It feels very vain to me.

Many languages do have a formal “You” that is used to show respect or recognize the authority of the person being addressed. English does not even have that. The English language does not deem you as important as I.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

So, not only is He greater than i, but you are at least as important, if not more so, than i.

I had wanted to write my blogs using the lower case i. I tried it out on a few people, but they found it distracting. And my writing software is constantly trying to correct me. So, i gave that up. Except for this post. Because i want you to know that i do not consider myself more important than you. And i do not consider either of us as important as God. He is the one who deserves the honor. He is the only one who deserves the capital letters.

If you journal, i would like to challenge you to try this for a while. The practice is a subtle but constant reminder that He is God and i am not.

Beyond that, what does it say about the English language that we capitalize “i” and not “you”? What does it say about us as a people? Has it formed our thinking?

What does it say about me that i am bothered that my writing software is “failing” this document because i am refusing to correct my capitalization errors? I don’t like all the error messages. So you know what? I turned it off. What is acceptable practice will not dictate my every action. You, or the computer, are welcome to consider me weak in grammar skills, but i have a point to make.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God – what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Don’t worry, i will return to proper English grammar, as vain as i find it, in the next post. The purpose of the posts, after all, is not to change our language, but to encourage you to speak with God, whatever language you use.

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Romans 6:26

Thanks you for sharing your time with me. If you enjoyed this post, i hope you share it with others.

Betsy