Busyness. Somewhere along the line, we made that a virtue. If you want to silence a conversation, when they ask you what you do, say “nothing.” Even writing it, I feel I need to follow that with disclaimers, reasons, justifications for what must be idleness, sloth, the devil’s workshop. I don’t know if it would help the conversation if I answered, “I read and pray and think.” That’s how I spend some of my best days.

Most of my life, I have been very busy. Work, volunteer positions, growing children, aging parent, ailing husband, possessions and schedules, friends and social gatherings, grandchildren. We fill every space on our calendars.

And now it’s Christmas! Do we have one day on our calendar that we intentionally leave blank? Can we block off two hours for prayer and communion with God? Sabbath may have once been that way, but by Jesus’ time, it was more rule riddled than other days. Sunday worship may have once been that way, but it can also be a time of stress and demands, tightly scheduled in between other activities.

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10

I get the sense that busyness is an idol, a false god. Somehow I will feel as if my life has meaning as long as I am too busy to stop to think about it. When I do stop to think about it, I share Solomon’s frustrations that all this activity feels like “chasing after wind” (Eccl.) and a waste of time. It’s easy to forget what Solomon’s father taught us:

Unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Psalm 127:1

Rick Warren, in his book, the Purpose Driven Life, says this does not mean asking for God’s blessing on what we have already decided to do. This means asking God what He wants us to do, then doing that. What would our calendars look like if we prayed for guidance before adding anything to it?

He (The Risen Jesus) ordered them to not leave Jerusalem, but to wait there for the promise of the Father. Then they returned to Jerusalem and… were constantly devoting themselves to prayer. Acts 1:4,12,14

Perhaps this is the key, the balance between pointless activity and idle hands. Perhaps I need to start my day with prayer and waiting for the Spirit’s guidance and power. A friend of mine prays every morning that God will order her day. Martin Luther famously said that he had so much to do that he’d have to spend the first three hours in prayer. Perhaps if I spent that much time in prayer, God could accomplish such amazing feats through me!

Like the barren ground in my garden right now, perhaps a lack of visible activity allows for vital unseen activity to occur. Rest, time in prayer, time reading and thinking about God’s Word, internal transformation. Perhaps that and not ceaseless busyness is the way we can better serve the kingdom. It could even be that the greatest work is that which looks like doing nothing.

In the morning, while it was still very dark, Jesus got up and went out to a deserted place, and there he prayed. And Simon and his companions hunted for him. When they found him, they said to him, “Everyone is searching for you.” He answered, “Let us go to the neighboring towns so that I can proclaim the message there also; for that is what I came to do. Mark 1:35-38

Jesus had just spent time at Simon’s home healing people, and many people had gathered there waiting for him to act. Where was he? Why was he not at the house, busy with the tasks at hand?

Jesus knew that time spent in prayer may look like doing nothing, but it is the most important thing we can do. And God may well direct you to leave some tasks undone and focus on new ones, ones that He wants you to do.

So take a deep breath and carve out some time to sit quietly in prayer. Spending time with God is never idle time.

Betsy

The Bible. No book has ever generated so much adoration, turmoil, study and discussion. Heralded as the foundation of our culture; banned as subversive rhetoric. People have died for the privilege of reading the Bible in their own language; people still die for attempting to read the Bible in their own language. The first book ever printed. The most widely read book in the world.

Nations have fought, churches have splintered, laws have been made and revoked, and people imprisoned or exiled based on what this book says. Or more accurately, the different ways people have perceived what this book says and who gets to make that decision.

Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law, and one’s foes will be members of one’s own household. Matthew 10:34-36.

Just the word “Bible” generates adoration in some and abhorrence in others.

If you read and study it, you know it can be confusing, contradictory, unclear and open to multiple interpretations. The same verse can vary in meaning in each translation.

A person can find justification for almost any behavior in the Bible if they choose to approach it looking for self-justification. Perhaps God did not intend for us to approach it that way. Perhaps anytime I approach the Bible with a personal agenda, even a worthy one, I risk misusing the Word of God.

When I was in my late 20’s, my mother was struggling with ALS, a debilitating and deadly disease. I highlighted every mention of God’s healing hand in my Bible. I underlined every time people prayed for and received healing. When my mother died, I was sure it was because my prayers and my faith were not sincere enough or strong enough or “enough,” because the Bible clearly states that God can heal all diseases. I must have been the problem. Satan made sure I heard that message.

It can be risky approaching the Word of God with a personal agenda. But when we open our hearts and minds to what the Holy Spirit will teach us about God and ourselves through scripture, what a difference!

Because the Bible is a reliable witness to God. The Bible is the written word, which when joined with the Living Word, Jesus, is the best way to learn about our creator, our savior, our Lord.

All scripture is inspired by God and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, so that everyone who belongs to God may be proficient, equipped for every good work 2 Timothy 3:16-17

Too often, we in the west take our Bibles for granted, allowing them to gather dust on our bookcases. What a gift they are! What an amazing feat that pre-literate peoples carried these stories verbally for centuries. God spoke to these people thousands of years ago, and His message to them still resonates with us, teaching us about God. God’s love letters to us.

Can you imagine not having access to the Bible? Many people still don’t. If someone confiscated all the Bibles and outlawed their use, would I know enough of it to continue telling the story? I am not very good at memorizing scripture, especially since I read several translations. Is there enough there for the Holy Spirit to use?

But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you everything, and remind you of all that I have said to you. John 14:25

I thank God for the Bible, in all its confusing and contradictory grandeur. I thank God for the privilege of reading it and studying it; for the privilege of talking about it and writing about it. Open my eyes and ears, my heart and mind, Lord, to learn more about You.

Betsy

Have you ever tried to describe the grandeur of a harvest moon or the beauty of a sunrise? The smell of cinnamon or the various hues of blue? Can you find the words to describe love? Language is a woefully inadequate tool for expressing even those things bound by our five senses and three dimensions. Add to that our emotions and intuitions and our internal sense of something, and language quickly fails us.

How much more difficult it must have been for Jesus to describe those things beyond our experience – Heaven, the Kingdom of God, Eternity. Only He had direct experience of those realms, but what words could He possibly have used to describe them?

Fortunately, God, in His wisdom, gave us tastes, examples, in His created world that hinted at this other world; perishable things that reflected the imperishable. We find many of these hints in our gardens; and the prophets and Jesus called them to our attention.

A man planted a vineyard… Mark 12:1

The kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early to hire laborers for his vineyard. Matthew 20:1

The garden even provides hints at some difficult concepts.

The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed… It is the smallest of all seeds, but when it has grown, it is the greatest of shrubs. Matthew 13:31-32

Very truly I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains a single grain, but if it dies, it bears much fruit. John12:24

Even with these concrete examples, I can barely visualize this heaven, this kingdom.

The prophets and seers of visions throughout time faced this problem – how to describe a world beyond our five senses, beyond our three dimensions?

Isaiah envisions this Kingdom of God and expresses it like this:

On the day: A pleasant vineyard, sing about it! I, the Lord, am its keeper, every moment I water it. I guard it night and day so that no one can harm it. Isaiah 27:2-3

John envisions heaven and expresses it like this:

On either side of the river of Life is the tree of Life with its twelve kinds of fruit, producing its fruit each month, and the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations. John 22:2

Inadequate language. Vineyards and trees and seeds just a hint, just a glimpse of things beyond our comprehension.

Perhaps all of nature, and not just the garden, is a parable of sorts – a parable that can reveal the nature of God to us if we only open our eyes and ears and hearts. If only we allow the Holy Spirit, God within us, to open them for us.

Then the disciples came and asked Him, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” Jesus answered, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given… blessed are your eyes for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Matthew 13:10,16

How can I describe a sunrise? What words can I use to tell of my heart expanding in love? Language is inadequate to describe what I know in the wordless center of my soul. But I know them to be what they are; I know they are real. The Holy Spirit knows the kingdom of God, knows heaven, knows eternity. If the Holy Spirit abides in you, then somewhere in the wordless center of your soul, you are being shown what these things are; you are being shown that they are real.

I have many things to say to you, but you cannot hear them now. When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth; for he will not speak on his own, but will speak whatever he hears, and he will declare to you the things that are to come. John 16:12-13

Thank you for reading along as I continue my struggles with language. Your support means more than I could ever express.

Betsy

I have kept a journal of morning prayers for years. Pages and pages of scrawled out personal prayers to the Almighty about whatever was on my mind. They are not for public consumption and would probably be undecipherable to most people.

From the beginning, I addressed God with a capital letter, “You.” Lord, You know what is on my mind. Thank You for listening. It seemed appropriate, even in my personal journal, to capitalize “You.” His Royal Majesty. God.

Thus says the Lord, your Redeemer, who formed you in the womb: I am the Lord, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who by myself spread out the earth. Isaiah 44:24

Somewhere along the way, I stopped capitalizing “i.” Maybe it was after seeing one of those window stickers “HE>i” (He is greater than i.) It seemed prideful somehow to give myself the same honor as i was giving God. Quickly, i became accustomed to the lower case i. The practice was easy in my journal. My computer is a different story. My writing software does not accept my sudden humility!

The English language capitalizes “i” whenever used as a pronoun. English is the only language that capitalizes “i” in the middle of a sentence. This would not seem so egotistical if we capitalized other pronouns, like “they” or “he” or “she.” But we don’t. Only I get that honor. Even “we” doesn’t get that honor, as if adding another person lessens my value somehow. It feels very vain to me.

Many languages do have a formal “You” that is used to show respect or recognize the authority of the person being addressed. English does not even have that. The English language does not deem you as important as I.

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility regard others as better than yourselves. Philippians 2:3

So, not only is He greater than i, but you are at least as important, if not more so, than i.

I had wanted to write my blogs using the lower case i. I tried it out on a few people, but they found it distracting. And my writing software is constantly trying to correct me. So, i gave that up. Except for this post. Because i want you to know that i do not consider myself more important than you. And i do not consider either of us as important as God. He is the one who deserves the honor. He is the only one who deserves the capital letters.

If you journal, i would like to challenge you to try this for a while. The practice is a subtle but constant reminder that He is God and i am not.

Beyond that, what does it say about the English language that we capitalize “i” and not “you”? What does it say about us as a people? Has it formed our thinking?

What does it say about me that i am bothered that my writing software is “failing” this document because i am refusing to correct my capitalization errors? I don’t like all the error messages. So you know what? I turned it off. What is acceptable practice will not dictate my every action. You, or the computer, are welcome to consider me weak in grammar skills, but i have a point to make.

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your minds, so that you may discern what is the will of God – what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Don’t worry, i will return to proper English grammar, as vain as i find it, in the next post. The purpose of the posts, after all, is not to change our language, but to encourage you to speak with God, whatever language you use.

Likewise, the Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but that very Spirit intercedes with sighs too deep for words. Romans 6:26

Thanks you for sharing your time with me. If you enjoyed this post, i hope you share it with others.

Betsy

Watching all the news coverage of the death of Queen Elizabeth had me thinking about the protocols surrounding royalty. You can’t just walk into the palace and ask the queen or king a question. Royalty demands a certain level of distance, respect, fear, separation from the average person. To speak to the king, you need to be pre-approved to see him and follow set rules about approaching him.

Although not as extreme, it reminds me of Esther’s fear of approaching the king, even though he was her husband.

If any man or woman goes to the to the king inside the inner court without being called, there is one law – all alike are to be put to death. Esther 4:11

It would make sense that the Israelites would have the same fear of approaching God. God even tells Moses:

Go down and warn the people not to break through to the Lord to look; otherwise, many of them will perish. Exodus 192:1

Job, in his distress, calls out:

If only there were a mediator between us (God and me), someone who could bring us together. Then I could speak to Him without fear, but I cannot do that in my own strength. Job 9:33,35 (NLT)

Do I realize what an extreme privilege it is to approach God in prayer at any time or place? What an amazing gift! We not only get to enter His throne room, we are called to bring all our concerns to Him (Phil. 4:6) and pray without ceasing (I Thess. 5:16). God invites us to be like children who run into His office and interrupt whatever He is doing. He joyfully takes us in His arms and welcomes us. Absolutely amazing!

When I was in my 20s, it was a fad for a while to sit in on Saturday night court, just to watch. Sometimes I like to imagine that I am sitting in God’s court, just observing. It’s hard not to think that I have snuck in somehow; that I really shouldn’t be listening in. Am I really allowed to be in “the room where it happened?” (That’s from the musical Hamilton…) Like the thousands lining the streets of London, it seems enough to stand in the back and watch royalty from afar; it seems like a privilege just to be in the distant crowd.

But God has actually invited us into the room!

And not just to observe – God invites us to ask.

Ask, and it will be given you. If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask Him. Matthew 7:7,11

I sense that when we are in prayer, honest, private, personal prayer, we are in the room with God. Jesus has given us the Holy Spirit who empowers us to become children of God (John 1:12), allowing us into God’s throne room, God’s court, God’s office. Jesus wants us to abide with Him; God wants us to spend time with Him. Little ole insignificant me; little ole insignificant you, we are invited, encouraged even, to spend time with the creator and Lord of the universe.

He is infinitely more powerful and important and regal than any earthly king or queen. God’s judgements are infinitely more important than any earthly judge’s. Jesus has torn down the curtain of separation (Matt. 27:51) and invited us in.

In fact, as unfathomable as it may be, the King is outside our home, knocking on our door, asking to come in.

Listen! I am standing at the door knocking. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in to you and eat with you, and you with me. Revelation 3:20

You better believe I am asking Him in!  Are you?

Betsy

“Are you going to grow tomatoes this year?” my friend asked.

It was a simple question, kindly asked by someone who knew that I have grown vegetables for the past 30 years. Well, actually my late husband and I grew them. Am I going to grow them without him?

Am I going to do the work he used to do? Am I going to commit to the labor and effort that growing vegetables takes? Am I going to till and fence and plant and tend and harvest? Is a home-grown tomato really worth that much effort?

Because gardens, like most worthwhile endeavors, take hard work; not that I am opposed to hard work; it’s just, well, hard. Gardens take manual labor and regular tending. You must set aside space in your yard and prepare the ground. You must commit to attending to the garden and providing what it needs to thrive.

Suddenly, the question is not about growing tomatoes, but about life. Am I going to make the effort to go on without my husband? Am I going to get up every day and take care of myself and my home and my finances and the car and the yard? Am I going to be open to growing something new in my life? Am I going to trust God?

Perhaps for you the question is “Are you going join a Bible study?” “Are you taking exercise classes? “Are you planning to travel abroad?” “Are you starting any needlepoint projects?” “Are you taking cooking classes?” Perhaps, for you, the question is not can you grow vegetables without your husband but can you grow these interests while caring for your husband or your parents or your children.

Maybe not such a simple question after all.

Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not first sit down and estimate the cost, to see whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will begin to ridicule him, saying, “this fellow began to build and was unable to finish.” – Luke 14: 27-30

I often battle inertia – the difficulty getting up off the couch and doing something. There are days I lose the battle. It’s comfy on the couch. And while grief seems to amplify inertia’s power over me, I battled it long before Nick was ever diagnosed. Steven Pressfield, in The War of Art, exposes this force, which he says seeks to prevent us from becoming our better selves, improving our world, and following our dreams. Victory, he says, comes by taking the first step and then the next one.

And I know that my battle with inertia is not over once the garden is started. I will battle it throughout the summer, along with predators who steal my seeds and fruit, weeds which stunt my plant’s growth; and weather which can undo what progress I have made.

I battle these in my life as well. But God has granted me a vision of fresh vegetables where only barren ground now exists. And God has promised victory.

Are the results worth the battle? Delicious home-grown tomatoes, cucumbers, and sugar snaps, Wow. A full life, a better me, Wow. Love, joy, peace, and patience, Wow. A personal relationship with the Almighty, Wow. Yep, they are worth getting off the couch. 

The kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it. Matthew 14:45-46

Now to take that first step. If I want a garden, I must, at some point, actually go outside and plant something. If I want to continue on in life, I must get off my comfy couch and do the tasks that need doing. If I want a personal relationship with the Creator and Master of the universe, I must at some point step outside my comfort zone and invite Him in. Such a relationship will not just happen, anymore than fully ripe tomatoes will turn up without effort in my backyard. And, like a garden, like any relationship, it takes both of us. I need God to make the plant grow and bear fruit; He needs me to put the plant in the ground and water it.

I am the vine, you are the branches. Those who abide in me and I in them bear much fruit, because apart from me you can do nothing. John 14:5

So, yes, I am going to grow something this year, God willing. Are you?

Betsy

I hope you enjoyed reading this. Hopefully, these posts will continue through the year as I plant, tend and harvest my garden. Gardening is a wonderful metaphor for the Christian life, one that Jesus often employs. God has taught me valuable lessons through the act of gardening, about life, marriage, child rearing, myself and my Christian walk. I hope to share these fruits with you. Let me know what you think.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinegrower. John 15:1