Second Chances

Sometimes gardening is ugly. I wish it weren’t. I wish I could just plant the seeds, tend the garden and have abundant fruit. In my memories, Nick and I have many years our gardens grew like that; but I could be choosing to remember the success and not the struggle.

It seems every garden since he passed away has been a struggle for me. This year has been no exception; a situation made even worse by my decision to share it all with anyone who would read along.

Failed crops, heat and drought, squirrels. Inertia, fear, doubt. Sometimes I dread going out to the garden for fear of what I may find.

Today I found yellow blossoms and tiny green tomatoes. Hope. God has not finished with me or my garden just yet.

These blossoms, these green tomatoes, they are a second chance for my garden, a second chance for me.

And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you. Go your way and sin no more.” John 8:11

“Second” chance might be a little self-righteous on my part. Three hundred and eightieth chance? So many chances, so many failures requiring additional chances, that perhaps I have become complacent. And yet, I want that fruit. The Holy Spirit within me wants to express Himself to the world; He wants me to bear that fruit as well.

And there are new blossoms and new green tomatoes. He is giving me new opportunities. I treasure these new tomatoes, even more than the ones that come six weeks ago. I fuss over them and baby them; check the bird netting, pull the weeds, talk to them.

I know it is God who is growing them. My gardening skills have proven quite inadequate. This is God’s gift to me – a second chance to have tomatoes.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”  So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me. 2 Corinthians 8:9

And it is only the failures, the thefts of fruit, that teach me how insufficient my own abilities are to produce beautiful fruit. How hard I work at it sometimes. Volunteer here, give there, write notes, send flowers, bring food – all good fruit; but if I am forcing these activities for appearance’s sake or other’s approval, these activities can be exhausting. I do not have the energy sufficient to continue in them, nor do they result in the garden I want to grow. I have to step back and let God grow these tomatoes.

It’s a hard lesson, learning to trust not in my own abilities and lean not on my own understanding. It feels rather unpatriotic. But God doesn’t want us trusting, relying on, or looking for help from anyone or anything but Himself. Not our government, not our IRA, not our allies, not even ourselves. These things are all good (or can be); and God provides structure and resources to enable us to further His kingdom, just as I provide structure and resources to enable my garden to grow.

But only God can grow a tomato. Only God is worthy of trust.

Some trust in chariots and others in horses, but we will depend on the Lord our God. Psalm 20:7

And God is so gracious and patient with us, giving us second chances many times over. Seventy times seven, probably more.

Maybe that is why I do not remember the struggles of past gardens. Maybe I will not remember the failures in this one. Because there are beautiful blossoms on the plants, and little green tomatoes which fill me with hope and joy.

God has not finished with my garden yet. God has not finished with me yet. God has not finished with you yet.

Betsy

Come, follow me. Luke 18:22